The Law of Happiness

Understanding of this law can help you achieve a lot of happiness

The law of Happiness states that :

" IF YOU WANT TO STAY HAPPY THEN YOU HAVE TO KEEP OTHERS HAPPY "

Explanation :

Every individual is surrounded by other individuals/people. All these individuals/people are categorized into 5 circles.

The first or the innermost circle : consists of people who you are coming in contact with the most i.e on a daily basis or very frequently. Examples are your wife/husband, co workers etc.

The second circle : which surrounds the first circle are the people who you meet let us say once or twice a week and are not as frequently in contact with you as the people in the first circle. Examples are some friends you see or visit or people in a class that you are taking once a week etc.

The third circle : surrounds the second circle and consists of individuals who you meet once or twice a year or even once in 5 or any number of years. You know all these people. Examples are distant relatives, old friends etc.

The fourth circle : consists of people you don't know but can meet at any time. Examples are attendant at a grocery store, someone you talk to in an elevator etc.

The fifth circle : Comprises of people you don't know or meet but these people know you. Examples are of fans of rock stars or famous people etc.

Your happiness depends directly, on how happy the individuals are with you, in all these 5 circles.


To achieve 'ABSOLUTE HAPPINESS' all the people in all these 5 circles should be happy with you.

It does not matter how much money/fame or power you have. These things cannot directly affect your happiness. Your happiness will depend on how happy others are with you. If money/power or fame could bring you happiness then we would not see countless cases of suicides, depression etc. among the rich/powerful and famous people. Money and other things can only affect your happiness indirectly. Example is that if your wife and family are not happy with you/or are sad because you are poor then their unhappiness/sadness will affect directly on your happiness.

I would assign different weights to all the circles. The first circle will carry the most weight, the second will carry less weight than the first, the third will carry less weight than the second and so on.

The First or the Innermost circle is of most important. It is very important to have the most people happy in this circle.

It will be very difficult for an individual to be happy if ALL the members of the first circle are not happy, even though the members of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th circle are happy with that individual. There will be some happiness experienced, because of the people of the other circles, but the individual will not be able to stay generally happy even at a basic level.

Similarly if ALL the people of the first circle are happy, and the the people of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th circle are not happy then that individual can still be generally happy at a basic level. There will be unhappiness experienced because of the people in the other circles, but a person can attain general happiness at a basic level just because ALL the members in the first circle are happy with that individual.

Also the level of happiness depends on the number of people in the individual's circles. For example let us say there are two people A and B. A has 2 people in his first circle and B has 10 people in his first circle. Let us assume they have no more people in any other circle. If both the people in A's circle are happy with A, and all the 10 people in B's circle are happy with B, then B will be more happy than A, as more people(8 more) carrying the same weight are happy with B.

Similarly based on the above the more the people the happy in the closer circles to you the more you are happy. Now here is another example in which I will try to measure happiness. Let us say A and B both have 5 people in the first circle and 10 people in the second circle and they do not have any other people in any other circles. Let us assume for arguments sake that the weight of each individual's happiness in the first circle is 75 points, and the weight of each individual's happiness in the second circle is 30 points each. Let us assume that A has 4 people happy in the first circle and no one happy in the second circle. Let us assume that B has 2 people happy in the first circle and 5 people happy in the second circle. So the points of happiness for both A and B will be as follows :

A = 75 x 4 = 300

B = (75 x 2) + (30 x 5) = 150 + 150 = 300

As you can see that A had only 4 people happy, while B had a total of 2+5 = 7 people happy. Still they both have achieved the same happiness points and are both equally happy. The reason is that A has more people in the first circle happy than B has. I hope you get the importance of getting more and more people happier in the inner circles first and then making people happy in the other circles.

Also the unhappiness of any individual with you will affect your happiness no matter what. Even if it is not your fault and some person is not happy with you, then that unhappiness of theirs towards you, will affect your happiness. It will not affect you with the same intensity or same points as it would affect you if it were your fault, but it will affect you at some lower level. Again the intensity will be high if the person is in the first circle and lower in the higher circles.

Try to keep people happy even if it is not your fault, or even if it is their fault, especially in the lower circles. If they cannot be made happy, then stay as far away from them as possible, and in least frequent contact with them as possible.

10 Ideas to Jump Start Your Self-Confidence

To begin feeling that first spark of self-confidence within you, try as many of these as you like. It's important to enjoy yourself along the way. Have fun!

1. Correctly do 25 pushups, 50 sit-ups, or 1 cartwheel.

2. Learn all of the words to a fun new song on the radio and sing it aloud while driving down the road.

3. Open up your cookbook to a completely new recipe and learn to cook it well.

4. Learn how to say, "I love you" in two different languages other than your own.

5. Teach someone how to read, how to fish, or how to play a musical instrument.

6. Look inside a thesaurus to find new ways to say the same old things.

7. Find three funny jokes and learn to tell them really well.

8. Get a makeover, new hairstyle, or all new socks & underwear.

9. Learn how to say, "I'm sorry" and mean it.

10. Look into the eyes of strangers and hold their gaze long enough to see the insecurity in all of us.

Ten Ways to Eliminate Guilt From Your Life

1. Say "Yes" Only When You Want To

You want to please everyone, but you end up disappointed in yourself. Don't say "Yes" unless you absolutely want to. If someone tries to make you feel bad about it, remember that they are more concerned about their own agenda.

2. Think Before You Speak

Before you communicate, think about what you are going to say. Make sure you communicate clearly so that the other person fully understands the information you want to share. It's better to prevent an argument or disagreement than to try to retract what you have said.

3. Establish and Enforce Personal Boundaries

Make sure that friends and family are clear on what you will and will not accept from them. Be specific about your boundaries. Don't assume people can read your mind. Speak up about anything that displeases or offends you.

4. Have a Sense of Humor

Some people use sarcasm to make other people feel bad intentionally and unintentionally. Be witty when someone uses sarcasm to make you feel bad. Laugh it off or make a joke about it. Have the upper hand in the situation.

5. Have Self Respect

Your opinion, time, and values are important. If you don't let other know that you have respect for yourself, how can you expect them to respect you? If you don't value what you have to offer, no one else will.

6. Keep Your Promises

Unless you have an emergency, do what you say you'll do to avoid any conflicts later. Honor your promises. Be fully committed to the promise by prioritizing what is most important to you. If you promised to visit your grandmother, do it at a time that is convenient for you.

7. Take Care of Your Feelings First

Do you put other people's feelings first? Each time you do, you give away a little of your personal power and self respect. By protecting someone's fragile ego, you are neglecting your needs.

8. Don't Make Assumptions

You don't know for sure what someone else is feeling or thinking. The only way to know is to ask. Don't be so sure that people are going to judge or condemn you.

9. Forgive Yourself

We all make mistakes. Give up blaming and berating yourself. If you hold on to them, it is difficult to move forward and let go of the past.

10. Do Your Best

You can't please everyone. Sometimes you can't win, no matter what choice you make. You don't need to justify your choices. If you've done your best, that's all that matters.